Some of my friends have been asking me why I will miss running. Some people have been wondering why my strong passion for this sport would lead to a negative effect on my body. Well, this is going to be that blog post where I will share what’s really happening.
I have been running since high school. In fact, I was part of the track and field team in our school. I used to run for 30-45 minutes during training days. I also did gymnastics for a couple of months but didn’t find passion in that. Basically, I lived an active high school life because I was afraid to gain the baby weight I lost after grade school. Aside from the active lifestyle I had, I was vegetarian for 2 years and no rice diet for the same period of time.
I went to college and discovered so many food choices. It was my first time then to eat fishballs from the street, calamares and the like. I felt the need to eat rice again because everyone was doing so. SPELL PEER PRESSURE. I ate so much everyday. I remember eating before leaving school, eating upon arriving home, eating after an hour for dinner, and midnight meal with my brother. IT WAS A CYCLE OF NON STOP EATING. Little did I know that my weigh from 125 lbs became 160 lbs. I started to hate looking at myself in the mirror because pimples were appearing everywhere.
I decided to seek consult because of my missed periods. I discovered that the reason behind my weight gain, pimples, and bloated feeling is PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). I underwent several tests for that and was told to take birth control pills and was advised to lose weight to combat the insulin resistance. During that time, weight loss was impossible. I WAS ALWAYS HUNGRY. I was looking for food 24/7. I also took metformin (which people claim to help with weight loss, but I didn’t get the same effect) to prevent developing Diabetes and to fight insulin resistance. I struggled so much during that time that I just neglected my reproductive health. Until the summer after that when I decided to really focus on being healthy. Besides, I couldn’t even button my uniform by myself. It also took me more than 20 minutes to wear the white stockings for duty. Bottomline is, I FELT SO HEAVY AND BLOATED.
I took the first step and started my fitness routine during that summer. I wasn’t eating healthy but I was working out. From 160 lbs, I lost 25 lbs. By the time school started, I was 135 lbs.
I started getting my period monthly when I reached that weight. I maintained that weight for more than a year.
After college, I took the board exams and gained a few pounds while reviewing for the boards. So I promised myself that after the boards, I would focus on being healthy since I would be a bum. I started with my work out routine around July. I wasn’t running yet when I started. I only incorporated running around October 2011. I missed my period for July 2011 and I thought it was just because of the stress of the boards, so I didn’t mind it. I didn’t realize that my period for June 2011 would be the last one…..
I continued with running and going to the gym that year. I was just waiting for my period without realizing that running might be the reason why its not coming…..and I waited and I waited……
I have been going to the doctors, and good to know that I don’t have hypothyroidism! Praise God. I just have one more diagnostic test to go through. Basically the diagnosis right now is Functional Hypothalamic Amenorrhea brought about by the weight loss and exercise.
You might ask why I have it when I’m not underweight. Apparently, this does not only happen to those who are underweight. It also happens to normal weight/overweight individuals who have bodies that don’t agree with so much weight loss. I was told that my body is not used to this level of body fat so its not working as efficiently as before. It was also aggravated by my PCOS.
Right now, I have cysts on both of my ovaries, a small uterus (which will be bigger, Praise God) and a confused hypothalamus. I have to gain weight and I have to stop running for a while. It is so hard for me to accept this reality because I worked hard to reach my weight, but when I think of it, id rather gain it back and be fertile and normal than have this weight and not have a healthy reproductive system.
Sometimes I ask myself if I ran too much. Sometimes I ask, what if I listened the first time I visited my doctor. But at the end of those numerous questions, I just tell myself that things happen for a reason. I am just grateful that at the end of the day, even if I feel heartbroken because of my situation, I have a God who comforts me and assures me that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.
A lot of women are experiencing this as well, but not all are comfortable with sharing it. I just want to share this so that some athletes out there would be aware that our bodies need to be listened to. We can’t allow our bodies to suffer like what I did to mine. I’m also sharing this so that when I get my period, I would be a testimony that God heals. I was told that I might not be able to get pregnant but I know that God won’t let that happen
So there, that is the reason why I am not going to write posts about running for a while. Once I get my period back (plus a lot of weight), I will write again. For now, BEAR WITH MY POSTS ABOUT FOOD <3
Years from now, my future kids would know that I did everything to be able to have them. And I know when that time comes, I would be the happiest mom in the world.